


And rain will make the flowers grow

by Gizmo



Category: The Magicians (TV), The Magicians - Lev Grossman
Genre: Angst, Hurt, It made me more sad, M/M, Poor cupcake I just want to hug him, So I was in a sad mood and this came to me, mention of alice/quentin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 10:22:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11011500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gizmo/pseuds/Gizmo
Summary: Eliot is lost in his thought and Quentin his leaving. Two things that is not good for Eliot Waugh





	And rain will make the flowers grow

**Author's Note:**

> So I was sad and I decided to write to cheer me up. Didn't help now I am sad for Eliot. But hey, I managed to do another one shot. Hope you like it.

_Becoming me was the greatest creative project of my life._ I remember saying that to Q once. It was deeply beautiful, and I don’t think he’ll ever understand the full meaning of it. No one can. Not even Margo. I use to be a quiet boy, hiding in every shadow he could find, not talking to anyone and making sure no one knew about my sexuality. My Oregon farming village wasn’t the best at understanding who I was. So I became nothing. I was nothing.

Then went to Brakebills. Far away from everyone, from everything. And slowly, with the help of my beautiful Margo, I became who I am now. I think that why I fell for Quentin that quickly. He made think of the me I was before. I wanted to show him that here, we could be anything, anyone. It ended up backfiring me. All the wall and glamour I had put around myself were slowly fading away every time this massive dork was looking at me, smiling and putting his stupid beautiful hair behind his ear. 

I was getting happy. Which was scary. So I drugged and drunk myself stupid to be sure I would do something wrong and be back to be miserable. I didn’t do it on purpose, but looking back, it was total self sabotage. Don’t tell Margo that she’s right. She told me those exact words dozen of time while tucking me in my bed after one of our infamous party. If I wasn’t gay, I’d marry that bambi bitch. She’s my everything. 

Then, massive plot twist, Fillory happen. Another miracle made by Q. Not only making me want to be less miserable, but discovering I was worth something. Well some weird pervert half goat god thought so. High king Eliot. 

What. The. Fuck. 

‘’ Are you ok El’?’’ Quentin’s voice surprised me and looked behind me to see him with  
‘’Yeah, sure, everything’s great, why would you ask.’’  
‘’Because there is a massive party in _your castle_ and I find you brooding on a rock near the garden. 

His laugh fill my head as he sit next to me. I notice the bag next to him. My heart sink. Q is leaving to go back to earth. Again. I am mad about it. I hate him for leaving again. Leaving me. But I know I can’t ever tell him. I know this isn’t fair to be mad when Alice is back there, rediscovering that being human is fucking awful. On a certain level I understand why she is furious to be back to what she was. But that is another thing I can ever tell him either. 

‘’It’s your castle too Q, remember you are the second king’’  
‘’I don’t spend enough time here to feel entitled to call it mine. ‘’

I don’t know what to say to that. Because I agree. Not that he shouldn’t call it his, but that he doesn’t spend enough time here. I wish I wasn’t a coward and tell him how I needed him too. Lately, his support and friendship would have been more than appreciated. Fuck only a hug from him would give me the courage I need to face the day.  
Q’s magic is to fix and mend thing. I think it goes deeper to the broken trinkets he do in class or that one time he fixed my bed after a rather interesting sex party to celebrate the summer solstice. (Naturally he pretended he couldn’t attend because his Hedge bitch Friend needed his help. Yeah right.) No I think Q’s magic also, in some twisted and inexplicable way, fixed me. Fix the lonely, hateful, uncaring asshole that I was. Now I am still an asshole, but I care about Fillory, I started to believe a bit more that I can love and be loved. I am still lonely, but a sad heart can’t be fix within a few years.

‘’ Then stay. ‘’ I say, selfishly. ‘’ God knows I could use some help. ‘’

Real smooth way to beg him to stay because your heart is breaking every time he leaves and you know you can’t follow him. I am supposed to be a good talker. I swear. 

‘’ You know I can’t’’ he said. And his sad smile and wet puppy eye makes me want to pin him on the ground and take him right there. Fuck now I was hard.

I crossed my leg to hid the evidence and nodded. 

‘’ I know. I just miss you. ‘’ I admit looking into the distance. Trying to tell myself that even if he was here, I was married and couldn’t touch anyone but my wife.

Well the boner is gone now. 

I sigh and with a few hand gesture, the white daisy in front of us turn into a rainbow of color. I know Finn like them this way. I can make her happy at least like that. As I work, I feel Quentin’s hand on my shoulder and turn my head to see him frown, his eyes searching mine. 

‘’ Are you sure you are ok? ‘’ He ask. 

No. No I am not. And it’s all your fault. 

‘’Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll whine to bambi about it until she find a way to get me drunk or high. ‘’

His frown turn into a smirk and he roll his eyes. I am still a good liar. Even to myself. 

‘’I’ll be back as soon as I can. ‘’ He promise, getting up and grabbing his bag. 

The unspoken truth was that he couldn’t tell us how long. Because time was different and promise are easily broken. 

‘’Bring back booze.’’ I try to joke avoid feeling the growing pain in my chest

In a deep laugh, Q press the magic button and vanish back to earth. I try not to cry. I try. And I fail. The high king of Fillory can’t cry. But Eliot Waugh, broken magician lost in a world of loneliness can. And only the garden witness my total breakdown. I let the sob coming, the tears spilled on my face and unto the ground.  
What do they say in les Miz. And rain will make the flower grow.


End file.
